As the week unfolded, I sank deeper into reflecting on the meaning, value, and purpose of the upcoming “Holiday” – Mother’s Day. With profound sadness, I listened and watched as friends and associates scrambled (often begrudgingly) as the day fast approached to retrieve items – cards, flowers, jewelry and so on – to recognize, honor, and demonstrate they “cared.”
All of this bustling prompted me to pause to reflect on my own Mom (along with my Dad). At 16 years of age, I lost my Dad. For me, this period of time was intensely painful and confusing (as I’m certain now that it was for my Mom, as well). Each year that followed his passing re-ignited the pain. I dreaded the approach and arrival of Father’s Day. Weeks before “that day” actually rolled around, I became blanketed in feelings of deep sorrow (and often retching tears) each time “that day” was discussed. Listening as friends and acquaintances shared their details to recognize and honor their own Dad was unbearable. For me, at the time, the idea and concept of celebrating and honoring someone who no longer possessed a physical form that would allow me to touch, hug, and laugh with was meaningless – actually the thought alone consumed, devoured, and immobilized me. Anything related to “this day” and the absence of someone to celebrate it with caused my feelings to shout “YOU NO LONGER FIT IN.” Each time that voice bellowed, I wished I could magically vanish or disappear (poof) to another land or planet where the concept and role of a “father” did not exist – a place free from the confusion that was dragging me down. At the time, I longed to “align” with others – share something in common.
I’m much older (and wiser) now…and actually find myself a bit more grateful to Ann Jarvis (and the Hallmark card company) for encouraging us to stop or at least pause…to reflect on the meaning, role, and importance of “Mother.” It overwhelms and fascinates me how I might not be here – nor might any of us – if it had not been for a generous woman somewhere who was willing to offer up her body (and in most cases, her life) to allow for our spirits to settle in, grow, mature, and ultimately enter the human space called life. I am now also much more appreciative of an expanded definition and a broader variety of ways to convey, explain, and understand the concept of “Mother.” The passing of my own mother several years ago brought me to a deeper understand (and appreciation) of the critical – and important – role “Mother” plays in our daily lives and our very existence.
As shared in earlier blogs , each one of us is able to “give birth” and bring meaning to the word “Mother” – a role that surrounds and permeates our lives each and every day. Consider for example:
- EARTH/SOIL as mother
Creating a fertile and nurturing environment to support the creation of life from a seed.
- TREES as mother
Offering up a safe, comfy limb where birds can build their nest and nurture their young.
My view of the world has dramatically changed since those confusing times when I was a young, naive’ 16 year old. My world and life are very different now. I make time to pause regularly to recognize, honor and express my appreciation for the opportunity of life and all that flows in and out of it. I now realize how necessary it was for many events to align for me to be here today – living, writing, enjoying and indulging. I consider it an honor and privilege – that someone was willing to sacrifice for me. For this, I owe a bushel of gratitude for all that has come before me – especially to my Mom (and Dad). On this day, I will take time away to bless Mom (and Dad) as I do each day to do as they would have wished for me. I will create “gifts” that help me relax, absorb and graciously accept and honor the love and gifts within and those that blossom, bloom, grow, and surround me.
I invite you to take time to honor the gift of life and the sacrifices others made to ensure you arrived and journeyed safely onto earth.
Crafted, researched and written by: |LIZ CARLOCK
The Write Resources, LLC™
© 2014 EM Carlock